I’m learning


Two books I have been going through lately have really merged together to make a big impact on my spiritual journey. I have been doing a daily devotional on the life of David, in the bible, with some of my closest girl freinds.

In the past I have always thought of David as one of the “spiritual giants” that had a life and journey with God that I could never paralell. I know the story of David and Bathsheba, but somehow the whole reality of his life never sunk into me. Each day we studied different aspects of his character and life. As we approched the time in his life that he committed adultry then murder to cover it up, i began to see through other stories that his sexual struggle was already a probelm and out of control. I began to ask questions. How could God call David a man after his own heart when this wasn’t just one wrong choice but an area in his life that he obviosly didnt surrender to God? How could God still cause him to prosper in so many areas, while at the exact same time he was “racking” up wives and concubines? How can a heart like this be called “after God?” It began to give me hope that even though my heart struggles to follow after rightousness, I too, can be used as signifcantly as David. God doesn’t wait for me to be rid completly of sin to use me and bless me.

Another aspect of this struggle that David had was impactful as well. When David had repented of his sin of adultry and murder, Nathan the prophet still told him that one consequence to this sin was that the baby Bathsheba was pregnant with would die. David fasted and cried out to God for 7 days. But God had already made up his mind. The bible says that as soon as David got word that his son had died, he washed and went and ate. Then he went to comfort his wife and she became pregant again. It was amazing to me that barely after they had a chance to grieve, God was already choosing to bless them. I tend to greive, or feel guilty, over my sin for quite some time. I dont even feel worthy of any type of blessing for quite some time. But God moves on and desires to bless me much sooner than I feel i deserve.Wow!

I am going on a trip to Colombia in January. For the trip we are reading a book by francine rivers, Redeeming Love. It is a great fiction based on the story of Hosea. He was a man that was told to marry a prostitute. She leaves him a few times to go back to her previous lifestyle. He continually woos her back. What amazing forgiveness, love, strength Hosea had. It paralells CHrist with us. I know that i commit to him and then go back to my other “loves”. But he forgives, pursues, fights, and returns me to where i belong, in his arms. This blows my mind. I dont know if I could respond like this to Josiah if he were to do the same. I think it would take me a very long time to forgive and move on. It makes me want to dig deeper into my relationship with God more and get to know this wonderful love that even I can’t comprehend.

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