I know I have alot to catch up on here, so many pictures, thoughts and memories to share. But i stumbled across my friends recent blog and wanted to get it down before it was completely out of my head. I was reading this from my friends blog and it got me to thinking about Nostalgia myself. I guess I haven’t resolved all my thoughts but I have come to some conclusions.
One of the things I learned in my Perceptions course, on how our senses relate to psychology, was that Music and Smells are the two strongest triggers for our memories. When I found myself “back” in those moments, often times I would wish that I was there again, that my life would rewind, and stay there. But as I have worked through those feelings of “grief” I have found myself in a new place. Not just a new place in time but a new place in perspective. I totally sympathize with Jeremy about remembering those times as the best times. So much energy, desire to learn, free time, and freedom. I have often wondered if I had known what the shift in life stages had in store for me, getting married and having children, would I have chose the same? or would i simmer in that stage and all its glory? Not that I would make a different choice in who I married or to have children or not. But would i put it off till I was “ready” for the change.
Maybe the process of falling in love is a gift from God in that we are so “swept up ” in the person and the newness that the process itself kind of ushers right into the next stage, without us really seeing what will change. If we could see, maybe we wouldn’t move on.
I have found that marriage and family have definitely taken my free time, energy, and so on. So I am not experiencing the wonder of all those elements combined any longer. But I have come to realize that my life will forever be moving into new stages, and in each stage My spiritual reality will look different as well.
I would say that spiritually my journey is more difficult in this new stage. The accountability of having a sounding board for your true self, in a husband. The new ‘issues” that you have to learn to work on together. The time investing in this new relationship to keep it healthy, these all vye for your time and energy. Changing the relationship with you and God. Children showing you even more that you are not perfect, in fact impatient, sometimes angry, and even hypocritical. At this point my relationship with God is built less on feelings and “highs” and more on knowledge of God and His promises. It is definitely refining me on a faster track than before.
And I have come to love this stage, I am becoming who I was created to be much faster than before. My faith is growing on a deeper level because I am not relying on my feelings to guide my progress. I am having to rely on God’s promises and actually make my theology my reality.
So, is it ok to wish for times past? or just enjoy the sweetness of them? can we fully enjoy the present when we are still grieving over the past? Jesus mourned change, even when he had the power to keep the “change” away.
Anyways… interesting topic, thanks Jeromy.