A look into my song

So many times people say “this song means so much to me ” but fail to say why. Here I am unpacking the song that has gripped me lately:

Mighty to save- by Hillsong

“Everyone needs compassion

A love that’s never failing

Let mercy fall on me

Everyone needs forgiveness

A kindness of a Savior

The hope of nations

To me this represents my future and the driving passion of it. God has given me not only a desire to see hurting people know Him, but people all over the world. He has given me some cross cultural gifts, and how he has molded me best fits this future on another continent. The way that this portion of the song is worded is what resounds in my heart and what has kept this dream alive so long, and will continue to encourage and move me forward in the difficult times.

“Savior

He can move the mountains

My God is Mighty to save

He is Mighty to save

Forever

Author of salvation

He rose and conquered the grave

Jesus conquered the grave”

These words are the present for me. We had a third child. Two and half weeks ago we lost her. God gave me peace that the baby was a girl and we named her Jasmine. She would have been born the day before M’s second birthday. She would have been my second daughter. She was my third child. And though the waves of grief continue to role over me, I have hope. I will see her someday. When my journey here is through I will be reunited with her. But if Jesus hadn’t “conquered the grave” by dying on the Cross, THEN raising to life, I wouldn’t have that hope. How could God be all powerful, and well, God, if he couldn’t defy even death? And because I have surrendered my life and my will to Him I will defy death too, and my precious baby has. Because He conquered the grave, I will see my little girl. Even though I miss out on a lifetime of love and memories, of knowing her, We will have eternity together.

“So take me as You find me

All my fears and failures

Fill my life again

I give my life to follow

Everything I believe in

Now I surrender”

This is my present and future. I am not perfect, nor will I be till I am in heaven. And I need God to take me with those imperfections and use me however He chooses. I also need him to meet me in those fears and failures. I have fears? I get asked this most often regarding our future overseas. Yes. I fear that I will not have what it takes to do what we are doing. I fear that in that I will be holding my husband back from what I know he can and was meant to do. I fear that my parents will die while I am thousands of miles away. I fear that my kids will not get the relationship that they would have with them than if we stayed in the states. I fear being persecuted. I fear my children being persecuted. I fear failure. I fear the change and loss of friendships here. And these are just my fears regarding my future.

But it is everything i believe in. So Christ in me drives me on to push through/with these fears, because if I didn’t, this life I am giving up would be no life at all if I chose the safe, self indulgent way. Which leads to my biggest fear, my life being meaningless. And I have to surrender these fears, sometimes daily. I love that God meets me where I am at. He doesn’t require MORE faith, MORE strength, just me wherever I am at. And He provides what I am lacking

“Shine your light and let the whole world see

We’re singing for the glory of the risen King…Jesus”

and just recently this part is meaningful cause my “AHA” moment went from ” it’s not about me” to ” it’s only about His Glory”.

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4 thoughts on “A look into my song

  1. >Hello dear daughter,We have been singing this song recently in church too and I love it. It also has been a comfort and encouragement to me. And the big picture of God’s purposes for us in this life – and that we are all about God’s glory – is a super ending to the song. I am thankful to read here in your blogspot your clear expression that in your deep grief and loss your faith in God’s love and trustworthiness is only becoming stronger. God bless you.Mama

  2. >Oh Heidi, my heart aches for you and the little girl you’re missing. I will pray for comfort and encouragement for all of you! What a beautiful post this is – thank you for sharing your trust in our Father as He leads you through this!Melissa (along with Matt and the girls)

  3. >fountain of good, all blessing flowsfrom the; no want thy fulness knows; what but thyself canst thou desire?yet, self-sufficient as thou art,thou dost desire my worthless heart; this, only this, dost thou require. ~Johann Scheffler

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