When we first arrived here last friday I had been noticing that baby wasn’t moving as much as its normal self. Which is ALOT. I woke up 2 mornings in a row at 5 am, not normal for me, and layed awake noticing that baby was not awake at all in an hour stretch, not normal for baby. So I booked and apointment saturday morning to go see the doctor and double check everything was fine.
They did a heart stress test with a simultaneous kick count for 30 minutes and everything came out fine. Dr. checked me and I was dialated 1.6 cm. But because my placenta was low at my 5 month check up she had me come in today for a ultrasound to make sure it had risen up in the last month.
Today. The technician checked baby out and I thought of all the questions I wanted to know. Was babie’s head down? Yup. How much did it weigh? 3.1 kg (6 ish lbs) How is the heart rate? good. Where is the placenta? Up. Then he said “Everything looks good except the cord is wrapped twice around the baby’s neck.
I wasn’t really prepared for that. Afterward I talked to my Doula while we waited for the Dr. to get out of a C-section. She said that it wasn’t alarming news. It was farely common and to remember that baby isn’t breathing air through its windpipe, so it can’t get strangled. The risk that they want to pay attention to is at labor and delivery time monitor babies heart rate and make sure that the cord is long enough to make the stretch journey down the canal with baby without detaching the placenta and tearing or it getting pinched and cutting off the blood flow in the placenta. She seemed not concerned at all, but said to just keep paying attention to baby’s movements.
When the Dr. came in she pretty much said the same thing. It was very possible that it could untangle itself in the next 2 weeks.
Along with constant surrenduring my worried thoughts to the Lord (every 5 minutes or so) I came home and talked to Josiah and started looking up online more info about this. I discovered it is called “nuchal cord” when it is wrapped around a part of baby. It does seem to be quite common with both some alarming stories and positive stories. I found this story, wich also has amazing pictures. I looked around more on this blog and there are some grapic birth pictures, so be warned if you want to take a peek too. Josiah looked up some info too and found that a study was done over the course of 10 years that measured nuchal cord births and regular births, and there was no difference in “mechanical” births and no significant differences in the mortailty rates.
So back to my worried thoughts. I am still struggling with them. Aknowledging to the Lord that I know He made this baby, I know He knows what I can handle, I know that I can trust Him.
But I know that suffering still comes, pain still comes, death , hardship, trials. They all come. I have prayed for life and recieved news of death. I have sat with women who prayed for life and recieved news of death. And right now I am praying for life, beautiful, healthy life. And fearing any news of death.
Do I take matters into my own hands, chuck the natural birth plan and get a C-section to get the baby out now before anything else takes a turn for the worst? Or do I wait? Wait on baby, wait on God. Give my heart some excersise of surrender. Repetitive practice in trust. My sweet Dr. ended all my grilling questions with ” sometimes we just need to have faith, huh?”
As I sat in the rickshaw on the way home I pondered wether she meant faith or trust. Faith is blind trust. Believing in something we do not see. Trust is knowing ones character from your relationship with them enough to not question there goodness. There is so much more to be said about trust and goodness and their relationship with pain and suffering. More to say, more to contemplate. More to wrestle with. And so I wrestle.
And wait. I have another apointment for next week, to check in.