38 week: a mother’s intuition

When we first arrived here last friday I had been noticing that baby wasn’t moving as much as its normal self. Which is ALOT. I woke up 2 mornings in a row at 5 am, not normal for me, and layed awake noticing that baby was not awake at all in an hour stretch, not normal for baby. So I booked and apointment saturday morning to go see the doctor and double check everything was fine.

They did a heart stress test with a simultaneous kick count for 30 minutes and everything came out fine. Dr. checked me and I was dialated 1.6 cm. But because my placenta was low at my 5 month check up she had me come in today for a ultrasound to make sure it had risen up in the last month.

Today. The technician checked baby out and I thought of all the questions I wanted to know. Was babie’s head down? Yup. How much did it weigh? 3.1 kg (6 ish lbs) How is the heart rate? good. Where is the placenta? Up. Then he said “Everything looks good except the cord is wrapped twice around the baby’s neck.

WHAT???!!!

I wasn’t really prepared for that. Afterward I talked to my Doula while we waited for the Dr. to get out of a C-section. She said that it wasn’t alarming news. It was farely common and to remember that baby isn’t breathing air through its windpipe, so it can’t get strangled. The risk that they want to pay attention to is at labor and delivery time monitor babies heart rate and make sure that the cord is long enough to make the stretch journey down the canal with baby without detaching the placenta and tearing or it getting pinched and cutting off the blood flow in the placenta. She seemed not concerned at all, but said to just keep paying attention to baby’s movements.

When the Dr. came in she pretty much said the same thing. It was very possible that it could untangle itself in the next 2 weeks.

Along with constant surrenduring my worried thoughts to the Lord (every 5 minutes or so) I came home and talked to Josiah and started looking up online more info about this. I discovered it is called “nuchal cord” when it is wrapped around a part of baby. It does seem to be quite common with both some alarming stories and positive stories. I found this story, wich also has amazing pictures. I looked around more on this blog and there are some grapic birth pictures, so be warned if you want to take a peek too. Josiah looked up some info too and found that a study was done over the course of 10 years that measured nuchal cord births and regular births, and there was no difference in “mechanical” births and no significant differences in the mortailty rates.

So back to my worried thoughts. I am still struggling with them. Aknowledging to the Lord that I know He made this baby, I know He knows what I can handle, I know that I can trust Him.

But I know that suffering still comes, pain still comes, death , hardship, trials. They all come. I have prayed for life and recieved news of death. I have sat with women who prayed for life and recieved news of death. And right now I am praying for life, beautiful, healthy life. And fearing any news of death.

Do I take matters into my own hands, chuck the natural birth plan and get a C-section to get the baby out now before anything else takes a turn for the worst? Or do I wait? Wait on baby, wait on God. Give my heart some excersise of surrender. Repetitive practice in trust. My sweet Dr. ended all my grilling questions with ” sometimes we just need to have faith, huh?”

As I sat in the rickshaw on the way home I pondered wether she meant faith or trust. Faith is blind trust. Believing in something we do not see. Trust is knowing ones character from your relationship with them enough to not question there goodness. There is so much more to be said about trust and goodness and their relationship with pain and suffering. More to say, more to contemplate. More to wrestle with. And so I wrestle.

And wait. I have another apointment for next week, to check in.

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13 thoughts on “38 week: a mother’s intuition

  1. Ah, I know the feeling. All of my babies have been born with the cord wrapped around their neck – it’s very common. Drew’s death was not connected in any way to the cord being around his neck 4 times .. Those babies just get active and the doctors remove it before the baby needs to take their first real breath so deeeep breath, my sweet friend. You’re in the Father’s hands and He loves that baby too – even more than you could imagine. Sending lots of prayers for you!!!

  2. Oh wow. I can identify with your fear and doubt and agony of having to “wait and see”. I tell you, it’s the hardest thing I think God can ever ask of us…to wait. Satan can have a way with us during this waiting period, just as he tried to do to Jesus Himself the night before His crucifixion. I’ll be praying for you and your babe. If I can incourage you in any way, it’s to not be afraid of a c-section, should it come to that. I’ve learned that no matter what plans we make in life, there is never a guarantee that it will go that way no matter how good our intentions are. If will be hard for the first week (as I imagine a vaginal birth is as welll) but it gets so much better after that! Our bodies were made incredibly resistant and smart, with an ability to heal itself. We also have an amazing Healer who made those bodies. All I’m saying is not to be afraid. I’ve done it twice (not by choice) and am about to do it again. I know God will be there no matter what happens and Angels will surround me, greeting my baby with a sweet lullaby. Anyway, if you DO end up with a c-section, ask for compression socks afterwards to help increase proper circulation in your legs. Small thing that makes a big difference. And keep taking your painkillers every three hours no matter what, even if you think you don’t need it. Love you! Praying God’s best for you and #4.

  3. OH Heidi,
    I am sorry to hear this. We are definitely keeping you and your littlest one in our prayers and we join in with the prayers of others in asking that the cord gets untangled before birth. We love you all. Much love to you! M

  4. Oh, I will be on my knees tonight! That is a hard one. I will pray for your peace of mind; And I will pray that the cord will just move anyway. I’ll pray that the One who is doing the knitting (psalm 139:13) will go back and untangle that section…. Oh, the peace of knowing that we can TRUST our Savior!

    • oh- and thanks for your post last night about your temper and Malachi’s response. It made me re-think some of my own actions or inactions and made me more attentive to my responses and their spirits. Seriously, people who don’t have children miss out on a lot of sanctification!

  5. Oh sweet Heidi,
    I know the fears that are a part of waiting for your precious child to be born whole and healthy into your arms. I am praying for you and the baby. And I will continue to pray for peace–amazing, surprising gifts of peace through all the moments of these “early labor” pains. Laboring with you…

  6. Thanks for the update. Our women’s group here in Mitla is pr ying for you and specifically that the cord will become untangled before the next checkup. One of the moms here told me she had that situation with her third baby, and a group of women came and prayed and the cord became untangled before birth. We are also praying for peace of mind and heart for you, Heidi, and Josiah, in these trying days of just waiting. May our Father give you a spirit of joy and praise and wash away your fears.

  7. We are so thankful that you were able to get there sooner and see the doctor. Remember when you had the ultra sound with Arwyn. God took care of her and they couldn’t find anything when you went back in for the second one. That will happen next week. He has all of you in his hands. Just know how much you are loved and that everyone is praying for you all. He hears us. Try not to let your fears override what you know in you heart.

    I wish I could be there for you….

    Love you!

  8. It is inspiring to others whenever one shares their personal wrestlings with SELF during a transparent effort of taking on the mind of Christ. This endeavor is not automatic, but very intentional and sharing the process lights the way for others to learn the deep trust in His Goodness that Mercy that brings peace. Thank you.

  9. Pingback: Taron’s Birth Story «

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