who’s freaking out?

Naturally your thinking ” sure! she’s over due on her baby coming, she should be entitled to freak out a bit.” But, nope. It’s not me. I am chill.

With the first 3 I was freaking out. At this point I had been freaking out for a whole month. At every contraction, burst of movement, change in my energy, I was thinking ” Is this it?!”

But now, no. Why stress, be on constant alert status? lose sleep? stress your mind out? It’s really not worth it. I know now  that this baby is coming when it wants to come. I can’t force it (unless I use drugs) and regardless of the external signs I can’t predict it either.

But out of the three people I talk to most frequently, 2 are FREAKING OUT. For those of you that know my mom (you’d agree with me) it should be her. She likes to freak about things. But from all appearances on this side of the ocean she is chill too. The 27 emails I have in my email box from her in the last few days are actually NOT “any news? have that baby yet? whats the status?…” instead they are pics of pumkins growing in the garden, beaches they just got back from, other beautiful fall things. Nope,mom’s not freakin out either.

Actually it’s my fellow India resident Devon, and my MIL. Between the two of them and there inquireries it makes me wonder if I SHOULD be freakin out. From Devon’s daily text’s or emails, updating us on which market or mall they are going to today, with the added “casual” question about baby, as if that’s not what prompted the call to begin with, to her almost daily update on her OWN blog about if baby has come or not. When this woman has her first baby, she is going to drive herself nuts that last month. Much like I did with Arwyn. Devon you WILL know, because we can’t go to the hospital without you being in my presence.

Then there is my MIL, which I will give a “little” credit to because they are in the rural parts of Mexico and she is concerned she will miss the news. But really, every other day we recieve an email with a new way to reach them and not so subtle comments that they haven’t heard anything. Then on the off days we get questions popped up on Skype chat. “Any news? anything new in India?…”and so on.

I already have everyone’s numbers on speedial. Have drafted my email to go to all necessary people for when we head to the hospital for labor, with addresses in “To:” box. And even drafted the “we had the baby” email, with fill in the blanks for all the pertinent info. Besides having reassured both parties that they WILL be notified WHEN THE TIME COMES.

But ladies, ladies… the time has not come. It is so ironic that I am enjoying this time. Shopping, candyland,cooking,coloring, reading to chilluns. Nothing is stopping me from staying busy.

NEWS FLASH: at my Dr. appointment tonight she checked me, 2.5 cm dilated. WOW! a whole half a cm in a week and half. When I asked if she would induce me by next Tuesday she said “Why? you are not even due till Saturday the 29th!” So if this baby doesn’t come by 41 weeks I now wouldn’t be induced till Nov. 5. Unless I requested to do so, which I don’t want to. Yes it will be a pain to be in the hospital the night our friends fly in to see us, yes, it will be a pain to have to switch places AGAIN by the 6th, and yes it will be a pain to spend even more money away in room and board and food. BUT forcing things usually doesn’t result in a nice natural delivery. It results in long frustrating, painful ones. I know, I have tried.

SO ladies and gents my due date is now Saturday. I have an appointment Tuesday to get my amniotic fluid checked and baby’s blood flow. Unless we decide otherwise, we wait. But really who is sitting aroud waiting? not me.I have meals to prepare and freeze, shopping to finish, flu shots to get. On second thought this little one needs to give me some more time…

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8 thoughts on “who’s freaking out?

  1. Ok ok I hear what you’re saying loud and clear. You know I was gonna respond on here. I really am sorry for stressing you out at all. A lot of it is my own impatience with language and wanting to be in our city to speak it but I don’t mean to rush you. I really have never been apart of a pregnancy like this and have NO idea what to expect about anything. I just want to be sure to be there for you guys when you need us. Also just so you don’t cook too much I made 4 frozen meals for you guys and we got the kids some things 🙂

    • LOL, oh yeah I knew you’d respond on here! I also thought you’d love getting a post written about you! I meant this as a funny post, at least I was laughing the whole time it was downloading in my head. You are too cute! Sounds like you have been shopping! and you are doing more today??? I made a schedule yesterday to triple batches for this weeks meals to have some things in the freezer, tiny though it is. So today the cooking begins. But i have it strecthed out over the week. Thanks for stepping in and being my ONLY community here, especially since you have never been through all this yourself. YOU ROCK! It really is endearing all the “FREAKING OUT” but it is commical too and I needed a nice commical lighthearted entry after the heavy one I just wrote. Thanks for being my subject.:) See you tomorrow! oh! wanna go shopping at Sarogeni Nager tomorrow? we are due for girl time again…better get it in…. and we can come home to a yummy dinner cooked by the guys and have margheritas and play dutch blitz! what do you think?

  2. we’ve been getting the things we think we’ll need in our city now. we’re going to ina today. shopping tomorrow sounds good, but steve already had plans to watch a soccer game so he can’t help out until after 7pm. just so you know what food i made: i cooked homemade veggie soup & chili from scratch, marinaded 2 kg of chicken & bought pasta stuff. we’ll bring it over tomorrow & i promise i won’t ask anything about the baby 🙂

  3. Yeah Heide!! Enjoy your time as is.Sure–all of us are eager to hear the news but, having had babies that were very leisurely in arriving I know what you hear and, as you say, can’t do anything about it! We continue to pray for the whole gang of you. Than includes Devon (whose photos are wonderful).
    We are both well and enjoying cooler weather. Hope your’s is becoming tolerable. -Pat

  4. Hey Heidi! Don’t know if you know it but we’ve recently moved to another city in our country too for the same reasons – my doctor thinks baby 2 will come any day but I think it will be a few more weeks. At this point with my first I was stressing out wanting him to just get here, but with this one I’ve been too preoccupied with the one outside the womb and just living life in a different place to hardly think about the upcoming birth. And I feel you about not having community… that’s the thing I do feel uneasy about when I think of it, but I’m trusting the Lord for his peace. We just celebrated our first year in Indo and we’ll finally have our first friends join us this month. It was not fun being alone as I’m sure you know too well, so I’m thrilled for us both to be going back soon with new little ones and new friends to share the journey. 🙂 Thinking of you much this week!
    Leigha

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