If I could sum up this last year in one word, it would be “surival”. My first birthday, anniversary, and birth in India. My second Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years. It was full of really hard times but also some that made it worth it. It has been lonely, but full of triumph. And full of many realizations.
I have realized that I am an emotional eater. When we moved I had just come from a period of serious emotional eating as I processsed pain and grieved my losses. But the gift in India, ironically, was I can’t eat Indian food 24/7. And I can’t get tons of options to make yummy american food. I also can’t get “quick” food either. So I have to be willing to put in a fair amount of time hunting down ingrediants and standing on my marble floors sanitizing, prepping and cooking. So alas I have eaten less, lost weight (wahoo!), and had to turn to someone else to deal with my emotions.
I have realized that God is not who I thought He was. I am still deconstructing my veiw of Him. Actually He is. It has been nothing but wonderful, refreshing, and moments full of joy as God shows me deeper and deeper what love actually means. How far he is willing to go to show me His love for me. And how many times He has to show me the same thing over again. Looking back at my life He has rarely been what people have said of him, or shown him to be. But there has been some, and I am more thankful for them.
I have realized that I am stronger than I thought I was. The discovery about myself, my past, my hangups and my needs has been treachurous but hasn’t broke me, completely. Even more crazy experiencing all of that while moving my whole life and children overseas to a country that couldn’t be more opposite from my own culture. Crazy stressful!! But I survived and still want to be here, and even have hope of enjoying my role.
I have realized that I WANT to homeschool my kids. I always thought it would happen out of need but I never thought I would enjoy it, let alone be excited about it. But God has been growing my heart towards spending time with them in a meaningful way and developing a love of learning. And recently has shown there need to have this time with me for stability and a strong foundation during this season in there lives. I am so happy to be freed up to soley focus on this.
I have realized what true friends I have. Some weren’t as strong as what I expected. But others surivived the distance of many miles to even grow deeper. And some that were just casual have turned into something wonderful and unnexpected.I think moving out of the country is a good trial to put relationships under to see what they were made of. The ones that weren’t as strong as I had hoped,I have greived this last year. But God has also brought 1 or 2 new friendships from beautiful women that have done the same thing I have and are going through the same struggles and because of that now know me better than most others do. I appreciate the friendships SO much more that have made it this far in my life, through ups an downs, and now are long distance. There effort means so much, I am so grateful for those for I know they will be lifelong.
This year I had my first:
– birth in India
– visit to Italy
– visit to Germany
– opportunity to furnish my house from scratch
– buffalo burgers
– time learning another language
And this next year I know i will have my first :
– visit to Goa, India
– Visit to Thaliand
– time out of the Dubai airport
– year of homeschooling
– close friendship in another language (hasn’t happened yet but I am believing in faith that it will)
Looking forward to:
– homeschooling the kids, even Vange with FIAR
– all of the above
– watching Taron have many many first’s
– Christmas and Thanksgiving in CA
– welcoming more friends to our city
– meeting new friends amoung Indian women
– telling about my passions and asking about theirs as I reach new levels of language
– growing in my skill of coaching and watching it transform all my relationships, as well as me